JJB’s Ramblings

Happy Patriots Day!

What does that mean for most folks today? Remembering the historic battles in Lexington and Concord that would be the musket spark to the Revolutionary war and keep us from having to refer to others with the prefix Lord or Lady? No way Lord Shacklebottom. The right way to do it is by watching an early Sox game, having some beers and cheering on all of those insane people that think it’s a good idea to do a fun run for 26.2 miles. Not me though, I have to work today. So in honor of marathon Monday, when I went to the gym over my lunch break I completed 26.2 miles in 3:00:00! Pretty awesome huh? Oh wait, my decimals are in the wrong spot; 2.62 and my time colons are wrong; 30:00. There, that’s better. Now, you may be thinking, “Justin, that’s almost an 11.5 min mile, isn’t that slow?” Well, yes, it is. On a normal, non-cross training program I clock in at about a 9.5 min mile. Mind you, I am not a mammal of endurance and am really only capable of short bursts of blinding speed.

So, good luck to all those crazies that ran the race and finished in time to make high tea any early bar specials on Boylston.

I believe that I have already made it clear that in general, eRock and I really rock .  The problem is that I am not sure that I have really stressed the magnitude with which we rock.  

I plan to do that now.   

For my birthday, my brother stepped up and shelled out for the dough for the hottest thing since Guitar Hero, RockBand.  You may have heard of it, but second hand accounts rarely do it justice and you must experience it.  It takes the guitar hero concept and mashes it together with all the other elements of a band: vocals, bass and drums, hence the name rockBAND.  Anyway, what it really is is just an excuse to get together with 1-3 of your friends and look like total morons.  The benefit being that normal morons NEVER have this much fun.  You may suck at vocals (like yours truly) or have absolutly no rhythm (think Steve Martin in the Jerk) but no longer does that mean you can’t be in a band.  eRock and I entertained two friends the other night and we gave RockBand the full workover.  It was great, we were all grinnin’ like dope fiends, enjoying our total groovyness.  I was rockin the microphone, doing my best Mick impression on the Stone’s “Gimme Shelter” when disaster struck.  85% of the way through the song, rockin out fast and furious, we blew out the receiver and it started flashing “Protect” on the LCD display screen.  Done. Clearly the stereo couldn’t handle our awesome rockin’-ness and it became concerned with it’s own well-being.  Thankfully the TV audio, though not nearly as robust as the stereo receiver, functioned properly and we went along rockin’ into the night, much like .38 special.  If you haven’t tried RockBand, get out and do so.  We may be having open auditions soon.

Dear Neighbor, 

How are things? Good, good.  Let me ask you something.  Why are you doing laundry at 3:30 in the morning?  What could you possibly have soiled that could not wait until daylight breaks?  Was it an inebriated evening of indiscression that needed immediate cleansing? Did you forget about a job interview in the morning and your lucky pair of underwear was a little ripe?  Imagine my surprise when I woke and heard this odd clanking and thumping.  Initially I thought it might have been someone in my apartement.  I know, that is a terrifying thought isn’t it?  So you can imagine my annoyance when I realized it was the dryer running.  Did you know that it is in the hallway right ourside my apartment and subsequentally my bedroom? Yeah it totally is.  I suppose that there may have been a good excuse (though I am at a loss thinking of one).  However, what there is NOT an excuse for is not checking your pockets before doing a wash.  Seriously, that could be disasterous you know.  Nothing ruins clothes faster than chapstick.  You, however must have got your chapstick but missed the coins in your pocket.  Yeah, that’s what woke me up.  Your loose change was rockin’ and rollin’ around in the dryer.  What did it sound like?  Well, why don’t you go put some coins in your saucepan and shake it vigerously.  Very vigerously.  Now keep that up for an hour.  There, you got it.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait an hour.  After about five minutes I couldn’t stand it so I got up and went out and stopped the dryer looking for that offensive piece of change.  I located the culprit (a dime!) and then, being a considerate neighbor, turned the dryer back on.  Sadly, you left more than a dime in your pocket, so I stopped it again and took out a nickel.  Man, if I find a quarter and a penny maybe I can buy a stamp.  I started the dryer one more time and there was still somethin clanking around so I decided that your clothes were done.  They were pretty much dry anyway, so I didn’t restart the dryer.  Going forward though, if you could not do your laundry between the hours of 11pm and 6am, that would be great.  If you decide to make a habit of this though, I must warn you: I am a morning person and will not hesitate to start shaking coins around in a pan outside your door.  Thanks for the change! 

Sincerely,
Justin