Once upon a time (yesterday) in a land far, far away (Somerville) there was an experience that must be shared.  On the corner of Beacon and Washington in S’ville you will find EVOO.  Normally I would enjoy the name EVOO as it is clever and simple.  However, I fear that a certain gravely voiced, uber-cheerful, donut munchin, Dunkin’ whorin’ TV personality may have ruined it for me.  That aside, eRock and I took full advantage of Boston’s Restaurant week by making a 9 pm reservation.  Now, you may be thinking, 9p.m.?  How on earth did you wait that late to eat?  Relax my friends, as all was taken care of.  A few hours prior to our superb meal E and I had to stop at Costco for some prints and dined on a slice of pizza and some little thing called a chicken bake.  It should be noted that we are high class, though clearly not as high class as the octogenarian couple next to us.  They were dappered out in full-length fur coats with bright colorful silk kerchiefs for accent and funny hats.  The best part is that the coats probably weighed more than they did, giving them a big, bulky, furry exterior, not unlike a pair of bears.

ANYWAY, the point of the story is the wonderful dinner.  We arrived on time for our 9pm reservation and were seated immediately.  The place was a-buzz with conversation and there were wonderful smells coming from the corner kitchen.  I am gonna skip all the ambiance and get right to the good stuff.  I opted for the prix-fixe menu, while E went a la carte. 

Starters

Smoked salmon – warm potato salad with hard-boiled egg, sweet pickles and cilantro.  It was scooped in a little pile and wrapped with cucumber and topped with bean sprouts and light vinaigrette. 

Entrée

Erica – “Duck, Duck, Goose” – Duck Confit, Seared Duck Foie Gras, Slices of Goose Breast, Lentils, Haricot Vert, Escarole and Sherry – Ginger Sauce

Justin – beer braised lamb over roasted root veggies (turnips, carrots etc) and potato croquets with pickled green tomatoes and onions and some watercress leaves

 Dessert

We split a Vanilla Crème Brulee with Bay leaf.

All of the above was excellent and you can pick any superlative you like to describe any of the items above (especially the foie gras).  The best part of the night though (beyond the food above, and the company I was in) was a surprise.  As we were dining we heard two people at the table next to us discussing their desserts with their waitress.  The gentleman was smiling at this little dish that she had brought over to him.  As we often do, E and I started eavesdropping.  It seemed like he was thanking her for letting him try it…she was saying no problem, it’s an interesting item. He looked at his date and took a bite of his sample with a slightly confused look on his face.  By now E and I were practically leaning over on to them to see what he was eating.  The waitress came back and asked how he liked it and he muttered something about how it was “interesting” and could see how it could be good.  She said she could totally understand that and that Bacon ice cream is certainly a peculiar taste.  Record screeches to a halt.  Wait what?  I ask Erica if I heard that correctly, “Did she just say bacon ice cream?” Erica, acting on this as I am paralyzed by the concept, leans over to the couple, “I’m sorry….did you just say Bacon ice cream?”  The couple laughed and confirmed what I thought I heard.  I stated, “That sounds…MAGNIFICENT!”.  The guy agreed with me and said that’s exactly what he thought, though he didn’t seem impressed with it.  I laughed and tried to resume conversation with E.  She asked me a question, but I was clearly still on Planet Bacon Ice Cream so she gave me a few more minutes to work through the concept.  As it turns out, the bacon ice cream was intended as a topper to an apple crisp that they had that was apparently no longer available.  As E and I wrapped up our delicious evening, I just couldn’t shake the thought of bacon ice cream, so when our amiable waiter came with the check I inquired as to whether I could have just the smallest of tastes.  He laughed and said that would not be a problem and hurried off to the kitchen.   A few moments later he came back with roughly 2 tablespoons of this malty-white ice cream with little dark colored chunks.  Good lord man, BACON ICE CREAM!  As he left, I picked up my fork (as he had taken my spoon) and took about a teaspoons worth.  I was bursting with expectation.  Here is a step-by-step analysis of what I experienced:

1)       The ice cream was not too cold and was on the soft side with a heavy vanilla on the front of the tongue.

2)       As the ice cream started to dissipate and move to the back of the tongue there was a very appealing and distinct maple hickory flavor.

3)       With all of the ice cream melted, I was left with this tiny, chewy morsel of bacon that was perfectly cooked. It. Was. Magic.

Not something that you would eat on a cone, but definitely a must try should you ever be presented with the wonderful opportunity.

Think Bacon ice cream is gross?  Wrong.  In fact, it’s not all that different that breakfast.  How?  Well ice cream is really just cream and sugar (or coffee) with some egg yolks (scramble or sunny side up?) and bacon is just, well bacon.  Coffee with cream and sugar, 2 scrambled eggs and a side of bacon.  You wouldn’t eat that on a cone either, but it is tasty.

Consider yourself educated.

What do you do when you have some spare time on your hands?  Watch TV?  Organize your stamp collection?  Beat up people that OWN stamp collections?  All of that is well and good, but me, I prefer to toil away in the kitchen over a hot stove.  This past Saturday was no exception.  With eRock out of the house for the better part of the day and company joining us for dinner, I thought it would be nice to make something from scratch.  Something “easy”.  Something like pasta sauce.  I chose the recipe given out by my culinary hero Alton Brown (an illegitmate offfspring of Julia Child and Bill Nye the science guy*) in his Pantry Raid episode. 

Step one:  make sure you have all the ingredients.  If you don’t have them get them (unless you don’t care for them.  I omitted the capers.) Here is our full recipe listing with my comments: 

2 (28-ounce) cans whole, peeled tomatoes
1/4 cup sherry vinegar
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 onion
1 carrot
1 stalk celery
2 ounces olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons capers, rinsed and drained
1/2 cup white wine  (plus 16 to 32oz for your own consumption)… better just make sure you have a bottle.
Kosher salt and black pepper, to taste 

In a sieve over a medium non-reactive saucepot, strain the tomatoes of their juice into the saucepot. Add the sherry vinegar, sugar, red pepper flakes, oregano, and basil to the tomato juice. Stir and cook over high heat. Once bubbles begin to form on the surface, reduce to a simmer. Allow liquid to reduce by 1/2 or until liquid has thickened to a loose syrup consistency.   It should end up looking something like this. I let it boil just a bit too long but I do not think there was too much harm.Squeeze each tomato thoroughly to ensure most seeds are removed. Set the tomatoes aside.

Cut carrot, onion, and celery into uniform sizes and combine with olive oil and garlic in a non-reactive roasting pan over low heat.  Sweat the mirepoix until the carrots are tender and the onion becomes translucent, 15 to 20 minutes.  Just like this.

Add the tomatoes and capers to the roasting pan and place roasting pan on the middle rack of the oven and broil for 15 to 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes. Tomatoes should start to brown slightly on edges with light caramelization.  You want to be sure that you know how good your broiler works.  You don’t want anything to burn (especially the garlic which will get bitter and you don’t want that).

Remove the pan from the broiler. Place the pan over 2 burners on the stove. Add the white wine to the tomatoes and cook for 2 to 3 more minutes over medium heat. Put the tomatoes into a deep pot or bowl and add the reduced tomato liquid to the tomatoes. Blend to desired consistency and adjust seasoning. 

That’s it.  Pretty darn easy right? Right.  I think that next time I make it I will cut down on some of the sugar, as it was a little sweet, though very tastey.  This brings about another important question.  Just what the hell do you DO with a big thing of pasta sauce?  Well you make spaghetti in your new mixer attachment, naturally.**  How do you do that?  Well my friends, I am glad that you asked.

From the KitchenAid recipe:

3 large eggs
2 tablespoons water
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

Break eggs into a glass measuring cup. Add water. Carefully check to see that the total liquid amount is 3/4 cup. If less than 3/4 cup, add additional water 1 teaspoon at a time until that amount is reached.

Place flour in a bowl. Attach bowl and flat beater [to a KitchenAid stand mixer]. Turn to speed 2 and gradually add eggs and water. Mix for 30 seconds. Stop mixer and exchange dough hook for flat beater. Turn to speed 2 and knead for 2 minutes. As you can see here.

Remove mixture from bowl and hand knead for 30 seconds to 1 minute. Cover with plastic wrap and let dough rest for 15 minutes before extruding through Pasta Maker.  Once you run it through the pasta maker, you want to be sure to separate it so that it doesn’t clump up together, as seen here.

Finally, you toss the pasta into some well salted water and boil for 3-5 min, being sure to test as you go so what you don’t overcook it.

And that’s it.  Now you have the perfect pasta and sauce combination .  I suppose the only thing that may make this even better would be a well seared chicken breast and some fresh parmesan.   It might look something like…oh, I don’t know… this. Enjoy! 

* This is only speculation.

** If you don’t have one, then rush out and get one.  I’ll wait.  What do you mean you don’t have the ability to go out and get it.  Fine.  You can buy some pasta, but I guarantee it will not be the same. 

It dawned on me that I never brought you the final results of the Bacon expedition. In summary: It was friggin’ awesome. Seriously. It was so good in fact that I went out and bought a 2^nd belly and made another round. I’ve had nothing but positive results from those that tasted it and not a peep about any violent outbreak of botulism. All in all a good weeks work, I’d say.

Since the POTD is over with and my bacon cravings have subsided, my energies seem to be lingering in the realm of cookery. Never one to pass a chance to whip up a meal for no reason whatsoever, I welcome these urgings with open, albeit knife wielding, arms.

I came across a bread recipe over at The Wednesday Chef that seemed simple enough for a bread novice like myself and decided to give it a try. For the record, this bread is as easy as it gets. Making hot tea requires more concentration than this, and that’s the part that I was amenable too.

After insisting to eRock that we needed Bread flour (in spite of the 10lb bag of AP flour in the kitchen, and the directions calling for either) and yeast, I was off. A mere 5 minutes passed before I had completed the first step and was ready to put it all aside for 18 hours. It seemed too simple. Surely I missed something. Maybe I should have weighed the flour instead of measuring it out. Perhaps I should have used tepid water. Curses, would a wooden spoon make a difference? Truth be told, I was a little dismayed when I realized that I wouldn’t even need to use the Kitchen Aid. To quote E, “Just use a spoon.” FINE. I will labor with a spoon…. Oh. Looks like it’s already mixed. Ok, well I suppose it’s just as well that I didn’t bust out the mixer.

So an agonizing 18 hours passed (1 hour for dinner, 5 hours of TV, 8 hours of sleep, 1 hour of butchering, 1 hour on errands and 2 hours climbing) and I was ready for the next step, which happened to involved moving the dough and waiting another 2 hours (spent cleaning) before the final phase – Bakin’ (not Bacon). The hardest part here was actually getting my oven to keep the right temp. Is it too much to expect that it maintain 450 degrees for an hour? I mean, it’s not exactly a multi-purpose appliance. It can’t keep my frozen goods in a solid state or do my taxes. It is built to maintain heat. Or not. Either way, the baking process was quick and pain-less (that’s a French bread joke. Get it? Pain? No? Remedial French? Nevermind.)

This bread came out so good that I immediately whipped up another batch (using the AP flour for a comparative taste test). The results are still inconclusive and I will have to bake many more “samples” before I can provide you, dear reader, with an accurate assessment. Until then, Would ya please pass the jelly?

Now, here is the recipe:

Jim Lahey’s No-Knead Bread
Yields one 1 1/2 pound loaf

3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting
¼ teaspoon instant yeast
1¼ teaspoons salt
Cornmeal or wheat bran as needed.

1. In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature, about 70 degrees.

2. Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.

3. Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or to your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton towel (not terry cloth) with flour, wheat bran or cornmeal; put dough seam side down on towel and dust with more flour, bran or cornmeal. Cover with another cotton towel and let rise for about 2 hours. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked with a finger.

4. At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Slide your hand under towel and turn dough over into pot, seam side up; it may look like a mess, but that is O.K. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 30 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.

Last night I crossed the line.  For a long time I have been reading the works of Anthony Bourdain and Jeffrey Steingarten (among others) and taking in copious amounts of food knowledge.  They have made me reconsider the foods I don’t like and driven me to try more foods that I am not normally exposed too (usually for the better).  I can now look at a plate of cured olives (not to be confused with those salty black rubber rings sold in cans) and dig in and try and understand how it’s appealing and give it another shot of my own, sometimes with pleasant results.  Does this mean I will eat anything? No.  Zucchini is still on my Most Not Wanted list but I did eat a beet after 17 years of aversion.

ANYWAY.  Last night we dined at Petit Robert Bistro  in the South End.  This little frenchie joint has been on my “restaurant to-do list” for at least a year, so I was very excited to help eRock celebrate her friend’s birthday there.  The service was decent, the atmosphere was quaint (and they had the sox game on) and the company was enjoyable.  Now that I have all that out of the way, let me dish on the dishes. It could be called fabulous and new (to me anyway) and intriguing.  It could (and most likely will) be called potentially gross by those that don’t wander far from the sanctuary of meat (read: beef or chicken) and potatoes.   

To start with, here are some of the appetizers that were passed around the table:

French Onion Soup (complete with a giant gob of gruyere)
Carrot and Ginger Soup was the special of the day 
Braised Endives and Ham au Fromage (with more gobs of what I think was gruyere, parm {maybe} and emmental) 
Trio of Homemade Patés with Condiments (this was mine, though I shared a little).  Chicken liver, pork and pate de campagne served with little cornichons and some mustard.  Spread this on the warm crusty bread they gave us and it was perfect. I really wanted to try the Pan Seared Foie Gras, Apple Wedge Tatin Style, Cinnamon Vinegar Sauce but decided that would have to wait until our next visit.  All of the appetizers were delicious but it was really the entrees that I was looking forward too. 

First, here is a photo of the entrée options so that you can try and decide what meal YOU would have ordered…   

As I said, I crossed that culinary line.  I was feeling adventurous and was eager to try the something new.  E opted for the Beef Short Ribs Pot au Feu with Vegetables, Broth and Marrow Bone, which had also caught my eye but I let her run with it.  The dish was very similar to a pot roast, where everything is simmered together for a long time, allowing for very tender meat.  I had wanted to try roast marrow  and was not disappointed.  It was incredible…. I may even give this a shot in the home kitchen. 

My entrée was Duel of a French Andouillette with a Boudin Noir over Mashed Potatoes.  This is Andouillette .  I assure you that it was tasty and not nearly as repulsive as this wiki article makes it sound.  Would I eat it again?  Oh sure.  Am I going to go out of my way to find it? Probably not.  The Boudin Noir on the other hand … that I will keep my eyes peeled for.  It had a fantastic flavor and texture that was complimented very well with the mashed potatoes.  I am officially a fan. 

The other (and probably most interesting dish to me) was the Tripes Provencal ordered by one of the other diner companions.  I was offered a taste and found it to be a very likeable dish.  It was hearty with a tomato base to it and root vegetables simmered along with the tripe.  Probably not a dish I would order as an entrée, but certainly a dish that I would accept a taste (or two) from every time. 

After all of that food, I was feeling fat and content and knew that it would be weeks before I could take a cholesterol test.  Only the birthday girl opted for a dessert, which was intriguing.  It was called Ile flottante and it was delicate and silky and carmely and delicious. And I could only eat one bite for fear of splitting my own seams.  

So I urge you… get outside of your palates comfort zone and try something new.  You can eat burgers and fries any old time, this is just something a little different that you owe it to yourself to try. Or maybe not.  

Craig was the first person to step up to the Hellbone challenge.  We started with dinner at Bukowskis with Buffalo and Jay and then once that wrapped up we decided on a crispy Hellbone for dessert.  The mere mention of the hellish bbq sent Jay runnin back to NH.  Actually, the poor bastard had just got in from LA and had to go to the office before a meeting the following day.  Despite legit reasons, we still think it was the spice… or not.  ANYWAY.  Craig and I got our ribs and brought them back to the house.  I grabbed my jug of milk; Craig opted for the PBR (if MGD is the Champagne of Beers, I think that PBR is the warm box of Franzia Chablis).   He bit. He smiled. He looked concentrated.  Maybe I built all this up too much.  Honestly, Craig is the guy that gets the Jerk chicken at Redbones without a second thought, meanwhile I break a sweat just thinking about it. So he works through it inspite of a ravenous case of hiccups.  I get through mine (no pain, no gain) with mild hiccups and another 3 alarm fire in my mouth.  Craig was a good sport about all of this and said that he would give it another try at another time, and I of course will be there with him.  Who’s the next sucker?