Ramblings 14 Jan 2008 02:49 pm
Technological Advances
I embrace technology as much as the next guy. You give me a device that does any combination of the following things: saves time, saves money, saves effort, keeps me informed or gives the impression of me being generally “in the know”, then I am bound to embrace it. IPods? Love ‘em. Automated tie racks? Awesome. Chips implanted in my neck? Could be a good thing.
Anyway, I came across a new technology the other day that I simply must share with you. The next time you go into Stop & Shop keep your eyes peeled for a display rack with little scanners that look like laser tag guns. The deal is this: scan your S&S card and get a scanner. Take the scanner with you as you walk throughout the store, scanning items are you put them in your cart. Go to a self-checkout when you are finished, scan a barcode on the machine to signify that you are done shopping and then scan your S&S card again at the register. It automatically tallys up all of the items that you have scanned and gives you your total. This saves a ton of time because you can bag as you go and you don’t have to wait while the 16 year old high school kid chats with the super cute highschool dropout bagger*. Like oh my god.
The absolute best part of this machine though? I think it reads your thoughts. Or maybe it has a direct line to God. I am not sure. As Randy, Becky and I entered the other night and scanned in to give this a whirl we were discussing potential snackable items for the football game. I voiced my opinion about the magical Ore-Ida Crispers. Have you had them? Holy mackerel. They are the Good Lord’s gift to frozen potato products. So, about a min after I mention this to Randy, the scanner in my hand beeps. I immediatley presume that I did something wrong and broke it but look down and see this. Is this a freak coincidence? I doubt it. Is it a direct line to the red phone at the right of the father? I think it just might be. Naturally, we took this as a sign and got two bags. Now my children go forth. Go forth and hear the word of god. I think he is saying that there is a sale on Irish Spring and that they need cleanup in aisle two.
* I understand that this is not an accurate representation of a supermarket bagger. They are kind, wonderful, smart people capable of many many fantastic things. However, I found it necessary to take liberties with this individual representation because without it, it might not have been as funny. Thank you.