JJB’s Ramblings

People make poor choices.  You know, the ones you don’t even realize until it’s too late?   The ones that could be cause for embarrassment if only you were just a bit more in tune with your surroundings and the consequences of your actions? The ones that cause the people that witness it to pray to God that either He strike them blind at that moment or grant them the ability to know better than to emulate the action.  I’m not talking about wearing a brown belt with black shoes.  I’m not talking about raising a pack of wolves to do your evil biding. I’m talking about the gray area in between.

Example 1
Location: Workplace Restroom

This is a touchy area to begin with because frankly, what happens in the restroom stays in the restroom.  It’s like Vegas with less flashy lights.  Anyway, at the end of the workday, it’s not unreasonable to go into a stall and change into your street clothes (for bankers this means change your shoes) before exiting the building and going off to your various social activities.  What is unreasonable is being unprepared.  As I cut through the bathroom to exit to the stairs I witnessed a fellow employee exit the stall in only his boxers to grab something from the sink.  I only saw it for a moment, but that is one moment I want stricken from the record.  The gentleman is no Adonis, he is closer to the Pilsbury doughboy.  He noticed me entering and tried to make it back to the stall before I crossed but unfortunately neither of us was that lucky. The lesson that should be learned is: Plan ahead, or at least put some pants on.

Example 2
Location: Wal-Mart parking lot

I’ve been at Wal-Mart WAY too much for my liking lately.  It’s the only store that’s really close enough for a lunch run to pick up the odds and ends things we’ve needed for the new apartment.  Walking our after my most recent purchase, I was noting (not the 11 millionth time) the ridiculous number of handicap parking spots outside the entrance when a woman caught my eye.  She was getting out of the passenger side of a vehicle and I took notice of her shirt.  She was just a little thing and couldn’t have been more than 18.  I know all the kids these days (did I really just say that) wear the sexy shirts that show their stomachs, but this was a little much.  Why? Because she was approximately 8 months, 3 weeks pregnant.  I know Hallmark says that birth is beautiful but this was just plane gross.  The shirt had bunched up on top of the little bundle of joy and I think that her low-rise pants only exaggerated the atrocity. The lesson that should be learned is: Baby T’s, though associated by name, are NOT proper maternity wear.

Example 3
Location: Winding curves of the VFW parkway

On Sundays we usually have a soccer game down in West Roxbury.  There is no direct route from Cambridge and getting there requires time on the Jamaica Way, the Arbor Way and the VFW Parkway.  These are “sometimes two, sometimes four” lane roads that weaves in, out and around the southwestern suburbs of Boston with rotaries thrown in for good measure.  Blind corners and S-curves can make this a real nerve-wracking drive for out of towners and city folk alike, so concentration is appreciated.  Enter the driver of a dark colored VW.  We were behind her for a little while and made note that she was a little in and out of her lane, though not the biggest traffic violation ever.  Well, that’s until we got closer so see what was going on.  Wearing a pink straw cowboy hat, we noticed that she was on the phone. Duh.  That should have been my first guess.  No hands free blue tooth.  No earpiece, just negotiating the curves with one hand on the wheel and the other on her Motorola.  Eventually she hangs up and we go to pass her (again) this time taking note that she is TOTALLY rocking out in her car.  Now, I can respect this.  We’ve all done it.  The difference is that while rocking out (full head movement, etc) and taking the turns like Earnhart, she is also checking her eyeliner and applying makeup in her visor mirror.  How dumb can you be?  I wanted to get a better look to see if she was driving stick shift too but we though it a better idea to pass her and get out of harms way.  The lesson that should be learned is: don’t be such an idiot in your car and do your makeup at home, not while doing 40mph into a series of turns.

Trackback This Post | Subscribe to the comments through RSS Feed