JJB’s Ramblings

…Get out.

 6:10 this morning I am 73% still asleep.  I roll over beside eRock (who is sound asleep) and all of a sudden I hear “Crack!” I am now 103% awake.

In fact, I already have an idea of what is happening.  When we set the bed up the other day we set these plastic risers under each foot of the frame.  From the outset I was wary about how much they could support, in spite of their prior use at E’s apt before without any issues. The box says 300lbs per riser and knowing that weight disbursement is to be considered, I set them under the corners without worrying about whether we should start looking into the South Bronx Paradise diet.  We even have a support in the middle of the bed, so there should be nothing to fear.  I suppose that the other portion of my concern stemmed from the fact that the “legs” didn’t have “feet”, (kind of like Lieutenant Dan),  there were rollers but I didn’t think they would be too effective, so I left them off. ANYWAY.

I quickly give E a shove and tell her to get out of bed.  Now, I know that this isn’t the nicest way to be woken up, but I didn’t want the bed collapsing with us in it, tempting further damage.  I have seen enough Three Stooges shorts to know that if the bed breaks; we will inevitably crash right through the floor into the basement below. E gives me a scowl and again I ask her to get up and look to see if the riser broke.  She gives me a confused look, takes a peek at the riser and says it looks fine.  Ok. I check the ones on my side…they are ok too.  I know it couldn’t have been the middle one because the mattress would be sagging.  Feeling slightly confused but pacified that the structural integrity of our bed was in tact we get back in bed to catch a few more winks before the alarm goes off.  Starting to doze into that blissful state I drift into a nice comfortable slumber to…crackCRACK.Bam.  There goes the bed.  Fortunately we did not crash through the floor. I am sure that if we did, E would have turned to me, called me a knucklehead and then poked me in the eyes.  

Turns out it did crack…what a pain in the ass.  So now we are looking around for another option that will give us under bed storage.  I would like to suggest large wheels of cheese…. we’ll see how that goes.

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