Ramblings 24 May 2007 01:26 pm

Sub warfare

It seems that every Tom, Dick and Eduardo think they can open up a pizza and sub shop.  I am here to tell you that this needs to stop.  Seriously.  I am all for taking something away from the big corporations and love the idea of that Mom and Pop (LLC, trademark M&P International) store that serves up a decent sub (or hoagie, grinder, hero, etc etc etc) with a smile and a genuine “Have a nice day”.  But I will NOT stand for mediocre food and sandwich making incompetence.  This. Ends. Here. 

There are a ton of lunch choices here in Lynn (Lynn, the City of Sin) and on the days when I am not heating up leftovers or going upstairs to the Atlantic View Café, (motto: hey look, there’s the ocean) I will venture out and about.  I avoid the fast food joints altogether and only occasionally make my way to the cheese counter at Whole Foods.  On the days when I can resist the dairy I will seek out a new place, which seems to relegate me to storefronts that advertise: Pizza, Subs and More. I say, pick one and do it well.  Apparently these places disagree.  One of my favorite, fallback subs is an Italian.  Done correctly, this can be a masterpiece that plays with the taste buds.  Done incorrectly and you’ve got yourself a crap sandwich.  I experienced the latter sandwich.

My Italian order is pretty standard.

·        Bread – fresh is the only way to go.  No Subway bread here.

·        Meat – Mortadella, Genoa salami, and Capacola (occasionally Proscuitto)

·        Cheese – Only provolone belongs here.

·        Veggies – Lettuce, Tomato and hots.  Maybe onion depending on gum or mouthwash situation

·        Condiments – Oil and vinegar, black pepper and oregano.

That’s really it. Actually, it seems pretty hard to screw that up right? I thought so too.

What I received was downright embarrassing.  Stale, tasteless bread was filled (I use this term loosely) with a few paper-thin slices of bologna, ham and mortadella.  My sub had, from what I could tell, one thin slice of provolone, though I did find a corner of American cheese on the uncheesed half of the sandwich.  On top of that they dumped some roughly chopped lettuce, some plum tomatoes that were cut wrong, and 3 hot pepper rings and doused it with what could only be described as generic Italian dressing.  So sad.

So I implore you.  Protest. Complain. Return.  Do it right or don’t do it at all, otherwise we are going to egg you (with a nice deviled egg, naturally).

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